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There’s a meme going around that says:
Actually, I just woke up one day and decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore or ever again so I changed. Just like that.
The sentiment is lovely. The actuality of making a huge life change is not like flipping on a light switch. It’s like giving control of the light switch to a 3 year old, so it’s on and then off and then onoffonoffonoffonoffonoff and then on for a long time and then after the 3 year old has been put in a time out, they sneak in and turn it back off.
It’s chaos. 3 year olds should be in control of zero things.
So after an “off” day, I had an “on” day. Somehow I spent only 93 minutes on social media yesterday, without having to use my computer a lot. I did use the laptop to load the Mia Cupcake Facebook page with content for a few days (took about 10 minutes, I save content all week) and check Instagram. That was it.
I have been working hard on watching my money, so I was able to pay up most of my bills to current (an absolute marvel after 5 months of unemployment) and instead of doing my normal “go to Amazon and see what kind of crap I ‘need’” that I have done in the past on paydays, I went and cleaned out one of the bedrooms so we can replace the bed in there this weekend.
I cleaned out the bathroom, even the little bendy part on the bottom back side of the toilet. Got down on my belly to wipe the floor off underneath the clawfoot bathtub. Then I noticed the hallway floor needed sweeping, then I put all my shoes away and then I cleaned up the cat’s area and cleaned the kitchen.
Then I tackled the “get out” pile. (No, I haven’t seen that movie yet. Maybe Halloween.)
I found my local Buy Nothing group and started going to town. I got rid of 15 reusable shopping bags, an old school Amazon Fire stick, a cool projector nightlight we no longer used/needed, 2 unopened printer cartridges for a printer I don’t own, 3 Disney princess dresses and a vintage K’Nexx roller coaster set.
I also sold the bedroom set downstairs, so my roommate can move into that spare bedroom. (I think that “items out” count in the graphic below is on the low side – made it before the bedroom set and the old bed went.)
THEN, I made a killer beef stew for dinner (this one from Nom Nom Paleo) last night and the kid actually ate it. I still have leftovers available for more meals (though I may have to purchase some reusable containers to sock some of this away).
Other than the fact I ate that burrito (and chips), I’ve done pretty well for week one.
Weekends are hard and full of temptations and my parents are coming to visit and they always take us out to eat…so we will see how being mindful works in a real life stressful situation with my proverbial 3 year old still at control of the light switch a bit.
I don’t have a pro-tip for you today. I’m trying to find one that is related to every day I post here, but today I’ve got nothing.
Digging yourself up out of a lifetime of bad habits and terrible choices (as well as a lot of joy and travel and laughing and really bad jokes) is not going to be easy. It’s going to be REALLY FREAKING HARD. I am burning my whole life to the ground ON PURPOSE (in a controlled way, I’m not just setting fire to the house) so I can discard the things and the habits I do not want to make room for more of the things I want.
All of this change is GOING to make some people uncomfortable and a lot of them won’t know why. It’s going to make some people angry and want to point out all my flaws and mistakes and be gleeful at me when I fail. Someone ripping their life down to the studs to rebuild it in a better way makes people uncomfortable when they can’t/won’t do the same.
I am just really happy to be doing this and feeling like I’m moving in a forward direction. I can do this if I keep going, even when I screw up. Especially when I screw up.
Want to catch up on the journey or check it out from the beginning? Check out the hub for all things “less of a sh*tshow” here.