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Mia Cupcake

Cooking, Baking and Learning

Self Care

Five Reasons Why You Should Do Boudoir Photos RIGHT NOW.

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I’ve been wanting to do boudoir photos. For myself, not for anyone else (because I’m not dating and giving your friends boudoir photos of yourself for gift-giving holidays is not my style).

But like so many things in my life, I had let fear get the best of me. I had allowed my self-loathing to take over and keep me from exploring new ideas or taking leaps into unknown (and super fun!) things.

I allowed fear and all my excuses to keep me in a bubble. A safe bubble, but a really super boring one.

I played the “I’ll do it when I lose the weight” card. I filled up my time with other things. Spent money I set aside for a photographer for other things. Put up roadblocks between me and the thing I kept saying “I’ve always wanted to do this” about.

I was my own worst enemy.

Then I made a new friend, Brianne. Brianne was looking for a model for her portfolio. She was looking for a specific date that I happened to be available.

So I did it. I replied to her post and said “YUP I AM IN”.

Before my brain chimed in and said “OMG YOU CAN’T BECAUSE [lists 20 lame excuses and one really super pathetic excuse].

Before I looked at myself in the mirror and decided I was not worthy.

Before I talked myself out of it.

And it was glorious. Empowering. SO FUN.

And you should do one.

So here, with no additional fanfare or anecdotes, are….

FIVE REASONS YOU SHOULD DO A BOUDOIR PHOTO SHOOT RIGHT NOW, AND TO HECK WITH YOUR EXCUSES.

  1. You will look back at these photos, no matter what size or shape or color you are, and say “DAMN. I was a badass.” It takes guts to strip down to your skivvies in front of a photographer (and possibly a photographer’s assistant) and then bend and pose and let the “I am hot and the subject of this whole shebang” take hold of you, even if it’s just for a second.
  2. You will feel absolutely stunning. And there should be absolutely NO SHAME in your game. The fact we have practically criminalized feeling self-worth is awful. We should tell ourselves daily we are beautiful and worthy and wondrous creatures. Because every single one of us on this planet…we are all beautiful and worthy and wondrous creatures.
  3. You will feel powerful. I left my session feeling like I could conquer just about anything – and 4 months later, I am still feeling awfully amazing. Not like a totally egotistical power, but a “well, I did THAT, so I can’t be scared of doing THIS.”
  4. No matter what size you are, you are you. And you should absolutely have photographs of yourself. You should look at yourself with love and confidence that you are the only you that there ever will be and you are awesome.
    If you’re not there, it’s ok. It took me 4 months to get the balls to post these photos on the internet for the whole world to see!
  5. You do not have to show a single soul any of these photos. It is absolutely not required that you show anybody any of these pictures. Period. You could do it just for the way it makes you feel and never download them or print them or anything. On the flip side, you could put them in a book for yourself. Or your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/neighbor (but don’t give them to your neighbor. Unless they’re also your boyfriend or you have a really close relationship).

This whole boudoir experience is about you, and nobody else. It’s about what you want out of it, and what you want to do with the end results.

Don’t let anybody tell you different, and quit talking yourself out of it.

Brianne Bell took all of these photos, and is an incredibly talented photographer. She not only does absolutely beautiful boudoir photos but also the most stunning “Fresh 48” sessions and birth photography. Check out her website here and book a session if you’re local!

BONUS: Here is my vlog entry from the Boudoir Day! <3 (Please ignore the sideways video – I was still pretty new at the video thing.)

Take Your Bestie to Cirque du Soleil Day (Alegria)

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I was provided with tickets to see Alegría in exchange for this piece. I received no other compensation.

It’s been a hell of a few years. I don’t have to tell any of you that. We’ve all experienced loss and isolation and blows to our mental health. It’s been brutal.

For those of you who are fans of my Instagram, you know I’ve had a fairly rough go of it personally. Battling anxiety, dealing with my “muggle job”, losing my housing, enduring a breakup, finding myself…it’s been a lot.

Sabrina, my best friend has been there for me through all of it. So when an invite slid into my inbox from Cirque du Soleil asking if I wanted to cover the opening night of the revamp of their Alegria show, I don’t know that I bothered to read the email in its entirety before I responded “YES PLEASE” and told Sabrina she was coming with me.

This particular Cirque show has fairly special meaning for me. It was the very first Cirque show I ever saw (Alegría in 2004, Quidam in 2005, Kurios in 2013, Volta in 2018 and now Alegría again in 2022). My boyfriend back in 2004 bought tickets for my birthday, and it was the first “fancy date” I’d ever been on. I bought a dress and wore heels and he wore a suit and it was a VERY big deal. Completely out of character for him, so it was a special treat.

And I was HOOKED from the opening riffs. I watched all the YouTube videos I could find. I tried to find circus classes. I sang the theme song for YEARS (and was pleased to see they reworked it for this show).

I get sidetracked easily when I tell y’all my stories, but trust me. This invitation could not have come at a better time.

So Sabrina and I hopped in the Iron Van (her mini van, the transpo for many of our shenanigans) and sped our way to Seattle one very rainy Wednesday evening to walk our very first red carpet.

Until I saw the unbridled joy on her face at seeing that blue-striped tent, I did not realize it was Sabrina’s first Cirque du Soleil experience ever.

See, Sabrina is my “serious” friend. She’s my rock. She’s the one that is right there with me when I can’t stand by myself and claps the loudest when I win. She’s the one who tells me I absolutely should NOT buy a prom dress just to sit around in my house. She’s the one that reminds me that internet dating is a terrible idea for me, and holds my hand when I break my own heart again.

She’s my hetero life mate. She’s the Silent Bob to my chatty Jay.

So getting to see absolute glee and wonder spread slowly across her face as she took a glass of champagne from a disembodied hand sticking out of a foliage-covered wall, and see that light in her eyes shine through the entire show and all the way home? Hearing her giggle at our new friends and our shenanigans (because hi! It’s still me, I make new friends wherever I go)? Watching her eyes grow big at the gent on the German Wheel, or hearing her squee at the hula hoop artist?

Having her say “YES!” I should buy those wings from the Alegría merch shop that were made for children but matched my hair?

Hearing her whisper “this is so magical” as she covers her mouth with her hands and watches the trapeze artists fly? It’s priceless.

Sharing one of my favorite experiences with the person who has done more for me than I could ever repay was the best way to help see that this “new normal” might not be so terrible.

Everyone should take their adult friends to Cirque for the first time. Or their third. Or their fifth. It’s a gleeful childlike experience that we could all use after the difficult times we’ve had lately.

Alegría is showing at Marymoor Park in Redmond, WA through March 13, 2022. Tickets are available here and you should absolutely go if you are able.

The First Five Things to Do When You Get Fired

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What do you do now? Your boss just said: “You’re fired. We are letting you go. Your employment is terminated. We have decided to eliminate your position. We are going in a different direction. It’s not you, it’s me.” 

Oh wait…that last one might be from a breakup.

I’ve been let go from jobs before, and I’ve consoled family members, friends and complete strangers after the loss of their jobs. It’s not unlike a breakup; it’s ugly and there’s feelings everywhere and sometimes you even have to facilitate the return of belongings.

Usually getting fired is completely demoralizing, debilitating and depressing, so if you are here because you have recently been fired, let me say this first: I am so sorry.

Whether it’s your fault or you had a garbage boss or you didn’t show up for 4 shifts in a row, it sucks to get fired.

You definitely go through the 5 stages of grieving when you lose a job:

  • denial (there’s no way I could have just been fired. I’ll just keep working. If I show up for work tomorrow, they can’t send me home. Did she really just tell me I am fired??)
  • anger (lots of curse words. Yelling, and probably crying while you’re yelling. Calling people terrible names just because they have not lost their jobs and you have. Probably more cussing.)
  • bargaining (God, if I could just have my job back…. If I could just have one more chance….)
  • depression (Lots of junk food. Probably bad daytime television, or Netflix binges of 90210 or Riverdale. Not showering or brushing your hair or leaving the house. Sad faces.) 
  • acceptance (Well, that’s that! Let’s go find another job!)

I don’t care what anyone says: It sucks to lose your job.

You panic. You don’t know what to do! High school does not prepare us to be fired. Our lives do not set us up to be prepared for failing in this spectacular manner. Parents do not inherently teach their children how to behave or how to move forward when they lose jobs.

Do not fear! I’ve been through this and walked enough people through this; I can help!

  1. Write down everything that was said during your termination. Grab a piece of paper and brain dump. Write down who was there, what time/date it was and the verbiage they used. Write down what they promised and anything else you can remember. “CYA” is essential in situations like this: Cover Your A$$.
  2. Get a lawyer to review any paperwork they are asking you to sign and don’t sign it until that lawyer says to. Online companies like LegalZoom offer inexpensive document review. It shouldn’t cost you an arm and a leg to get this done, and you need to do it to protect yourself. Now that you’re “outside the company”, they are interested in covering their butts and don’t really care about yours. This step is ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT if you were “fired for cause” (meaning you did something illegal or heinous to get fired).
  3. File unemployment. Most states offer online applications for unemployment, but some allow for application through the mail. Google “unemployment in [your state]“. Arm yourself with information. Here’s a great post about how to file for unemployment and what you will need.
  4. Get yourself a budget. Take a look at your severance package and see how many months of your household budget can be covered by that money. Pare down to the essentials. Do you need Netflix AND Hulu? Can you move to a cheaper internet package? Call your utilities and see how you can lower your bills. “Budget” is not a bad word. My friend Amiyrah has a lot of really great frugal tips on her blog. 
  5. Do one thing that is purely self care. You have gone through a HUGE loss. Something that was an enormous part of your life is now gone. It sucks, and if it hasn’t hit you already, it’s going to soon. Get a pedicure. Get a massage. Buy yourself a really good book you’ve been wanting to read. Don’t go bananas, but do something nice for yourself.

When push comes to shove, losing your job can be devastating…or it can be the first step in a new direction for you.

Prepare yourself for success, even when you’re feeling at your worst!

I Have Been Wearing These Clothes for Three Days

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I have had on these yoga pants and this teeshirt for three days. I’ve even slept in them.

Wolfgang left for school this morning and I was sitting on the couch with my laptop, and chances are when he comes home, I will still be there. The couch has been my home base for a few days.

See, I have an ENORMOUS to-do list and a ridiculously small amount of time right now.

It’s just me in this house. It’s me to make sure kids go to bed and make sure the bills are paid. It’s me to check homework and sweep the floors (and HOLY BABY BEYONCÉ, who put so much floor in this house??). It’s me to remember the appointments and write the “honey-do” list and then DO THE HONEY-DO LIST.

I don’t have a huge team of people standing next to me, helping with housework and child-raising and money-earning.

I’m ok with it about 98% of the time. I’ve got this. I am a MASTER of single parenting. (Mostly).

I can keep everything straight, but sometimes the wheels come off.

And right now, there’s a lot going on.

I have had some really bad episodes in the past, where I don’t know what to do so I don’t do anything.

But I have learned. I prioritize when I get overwhelmed, doing things in order of importance before I run out of energy.

Sometimes, decisions have to be made if I want to get business taken care of.

I know that from Sunday night to Wednesday morning every other week, I don’t have much opportunity to see other human beings. So if I need to knuckle down and knock out a bunch of stuff, I can kinda forgo basic public social things like putting on makeup or brushing my hair or sometimes changing my clothes.

In the last 3 days, I have mopped the floors upstairs once (SERIOUSLY SO MUCH FLOOR), swept twice, cleaned off the coffee table (a vortex of clutter and chaos) three times, cleaned out my office, scrubbed the bathroom, took a carload to Goodwill, went to church, made 5 meals, made almond milk and almond flour, roasted a chicken, took a bath, did my nails, deep conditioned my hair, did a face mask and watered all the plants. Oh, and I worked my full time job and wrote two blog posts.

And that’s my secret, actually, of how I “get it all done”. Sometimes I don’t.

Sometimes it’s just too much and I don’t change my clothes. Single parenting is hard.

I really need to change my clothes.

5 Ways To Self-Care When You’re Angry

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I used to be really angry on the inside.

I was bubbling up with anger all the time. I was angry about my life situation. I was angry about my pants not fitting. I found reasons to be angry because my anger was comforting to me.

It was a comforting and familiar feeling, but it was wrecking my life. I was pushing people away. I was ruining relationships of all kinds. It was hurting my body, as holding that anger inside is pretty destructive.

I was not taking care of myself. I took care of my kids, but not myself. And a day came where I couldn’t do it anymore.

It took a lot of therapy and my friends telling me how my anger affected them and a pretty massive illness to wake me up. I couldn’t keep all this inside anymore.

I was almost non-functional. I needed to let it go, but I didn’t really know how.

Looking back on the Facebook “On This Day” has been really cathartic; watching the evolution from giant raging ball of anger pants into someone who knows where to put all that rage and knows when the rage is appropriate and when I’m just flying off the handle because I’m not self-caring.

Over the past 4 or 5 years, I put together a list of 5 ways I can self-care that rage monster inside of me so I can thrive in my life.

If you want to be amazing and you want to reach the best you can be, you have to know how to manage your anger. You have to know how to love yourself, through the anger.

I still get mad, I just know how to cope when it gets real big. I hope my little coping list can help you too!

  1. Scream it out. Find a pillow and yell all the terrible things in your head into the pillow. Or find an isolated place and yell at the top of your lungs. Or go to a really loud concert and just yell along with everyone else. Get it all out in a very literal way. (Just don’t aim the angry screaming at anyone. People tend to not like that.)
  2. Work it out. Go running alone. Use the silence and the cadence of your feet to work out what’s making you so rage-y. Lift some heavy weights, if that’s your thing. Get a punching bag and kick it. Work that rage out through some movement!
  3. Zen it out. I found meditation to be SO helpful when dealing with anger. Sitting in silence, or meditating on a mantra (one that is NOT “I am so angry”). I like music with meditation, because my monkey brain can focus on the music while I get my “om” on.
  4. Write it out. Journaling is something I don’t do very often, but when I do, it really helps me get my feelings out. Draw pictures of what your anger looks like. Write in a freeform style without editing about how you’re feeling inside right now. Write about your day. Make a list of all the crazy things that have happened to you in the last week. I find it cathartic to then set my writing on fire, especially if it’s anger-based writing. Let those feelings go!
  5. [Insert your hobby here] it out. Finding an outlet for all of your emotions is super important. Go rock climbing. Learn to knit. Take up calligraphy or shell collecting or that cool hobby where you take the faces off dolls and repaint them.

Anger does not have to be your whole life. You do not have to let it consume you, like mine did to me for so many years.

Take care of yourself <3

This post was written as a part of the NaBloPoMo, a daily blogging journey I am committing to in November 2017.

Food is My Love Language {plus 4 foodie pro tips}

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“If she likes you, she will share her food with you.” I overheard Wolfgang saying that to someone a few months ago.

(I had just brought yet another sad clamshell of storebought cookies (the pink frosting ones! I ate most of them too) when I really wanted to bring something amazing and spectacular.)

I thought Wolfgang’s statement was silly at first, very “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD”.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he was right.

It was doubly confirmed a few days later as I was berry picking with a friend who was asking questions about my blog. I mentioned I had written a post about Game of Thrones and she looked super confused.

“Why would a food blogger write about Game of Thrones?” she asked.

Both she and Wolfgang were right. Blogging only makes sense to me when I’m writing about food.

If I like you, I will go out of my way to get you fed. I will share my homemade cookies. I will give you some of my homemade fig jam. I will offer you salmon bone broth. I will learn how to make those trendy drip cakes last minute for your dessert auction, while sobbing and watching a YouTube tutorial. I will agree to make your wedding cake (that’s a big one, because I had a bad experience. Don’t ask).

I own more cookbooks than any one non-chef-person should. I have 2 bookshelves full and I’m pretty sure there are still some out in storage in our shed.

That’s how my life works. If I love you, I will feed you.

Food and making people happy with the culinary concoctions I create: that’s my love language.

I will spend hours reading about your favorite food so I know exactly how to cook it. I will make homemade chocolate chip cookies right before we leave for a movie AND bring my big purse, so they’re still warm when we sneak them in. I will spend my precious little time in the kitchen creating something wonderful for you.

And I suppressed that joy of cooking (ha) for a really long time.

I tried to stuff that part of me way down deep because I thought it was too much for me to enjoy making food. That may stem from my last relationship, which was with an incredibly talented chef, I don’t know. I may have tried to punish myself for some unknown wrong by denying myself the things I enjoyed.

I suppressed my love language while I tried to heal myself without it, which threw everything else out of whack.

Now, I’ve tried for the last few months to be a “healthy living, self-help blogger”. But my heart isn’t in it.

I’ve been trying to be like someone else, and it’s no longer working for me (if it was ever working at all?).

It’s not me.

I would love to talk all day about matcha, but I want to make matcha chocolate mousse or a matcha frosting. I want to taste what happens when you sprinkle matcha over macarons. I want to research matcha and figure out what foods I can combine it with. I want to make a matcha marshmallow!

I love sharing my life with y’all, but I have to do it through food. That’s how I roll.

So we are shifting gears slightly, and moving away from self-help posts and “healthy living” posts. If you like those types of posts, I highly recommend my friend Autumn’s blog, or my friend Carleeh’s blog. Self help, self love and healthy living is definitely their thing.

Here, we are going to keep the fun travel posts like this Disneyland one, and we are going to keep the “local love” posts. Maybe the occasional “how’s it going in the Cupcake household” posts.

But everything else is going to shift.

The central point of Mia Cupcake, both me as a person and the blog as an entity, has always been food and if I try to convince you otherwise, I am straight up lying.

So let’s kick off the shift with 4 of my favorite foodie pro-tips I’ve picked up through watching, reading about and listening to (and dating!) professional chefs:

  1. Sprinkle Maldon Sea Salt (or another flaky sea salt) on top of your chocolate chip cookies right when you take them out of the oven. (Maldon is on CRAZY SALE on Amazon right now – add an 8.5 oz box on your order for a little more than regular salt!)

    Salt PLUS chocolate = out of this world. (Check out this post where I put this protip into action!)

  2. Infused sugars. I use old Vital Proteins collagen peptides canisters, and layer in sugar with vanilla beans (after I’ve scraped their innards into cookies or jams or what have you.) I’ve also used (dried!) lavender blossoms, lemon zest and mint leaves!
  3. Infused finishing salts. Have a recipe that calls for lemon juice, but not lemon zest? Get half of a cup of fine sea salt and a jar, and zest that lemon before you squeeze the juice out. Add the lemon to the sea salt and rub it in with your fingers.
    Store in an airtight container and use to finish up fish, or chicken by sprinkling a TINY BIT on top before serving.
  4. Taste your food. This seems like a no-brainer, but you always see that one guy on the cooking shows that has an absolutely stunning dish (despite having to cook with plastic utensils while wearing a sumo suit and singing showtunes or something) but it’s SO BLAND because he didn’t take the time to taste his food.

Food doesn’t have to be scary, and it can be something that shows how you feel about someone.

I’m ditching the fast food lifestyle I was leading and getting back into the kitchen. And I hope you’ll join me <3

I have included a few affiliate links in this post. Clicking them won’t cost you any additional $$, and help keep the Cupcake Haus in frosting, glitter and fancy pens.

When Your Brain Doesn’t Work Like It Used To Before (and five foods to help you think)

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I’m getting older.

SHOCKING, I know. But I’m getting older. I told someone yesterday that I was 32 because I honestly thought that’s how old I was.

Only off by 2 years. Wait….no….6! OMG, is that right?

But sometimes, my brain doesn’t function right. I have bad brain days, and I have good brain days. On bad brain days, I describe people like “that one dude we went to see that movie with when Wolfgang was little, but not super little and it rained” because I can’t remember their names. Or I mix up words.

There’s nothing wrong with me, I’ve had everything checked. I’m functionally healthy.

I just get tired and my brain takes a nap and lets my mouth run by itself. That’s not a good thing.

So I went internet-hunting. I don’t want to take a whole mess of supplements if I don’t have to, I would rather try eating more good foods (that are not liver) and try to help boost my brain in a way that doesn’t require me to remember to swallow a bunch of pills.

So here are the 5 foods which, according to my research, can have an impact on your brain’s health:

  1. Blueberries. Stuffed with something called gallic acid, which helps protect brains from stress and breakdown.
  2. Avocados. Low sugar content, and highest protein of any fruit! (weird, right?) Chock full of “good fats” and vitamin K to help keep prevent blood clots.
  3. Bone Broth. Full of collagen, which helps boost your memory skills and keeps your immune system running on all cylinders.
  4. Dark Chocolate. The darker, the better. Skip the sugared kinds, you want almost too dark to eat. It’s full of flavanols, which help blood flow to the heart AND the brain.
  5. Egg Yolks. Break the bank and buy the Happy Eggs. Happy chickens make healthy eggs, and healthy eggs are packed with choline, which helps break down bethane (a chemical that helps the body produce seratonin and dopamine, the happy chemicals!). Happy Eggs can make you happy! (no, I didn’t get paid to say that. I just really like that brand of eggs. The yellow carton makes me happy too.)

So far, it’s only been a week (and I’m on the Whole30 too, so no chocolate quite yet), but I feel like I’m finding my words a little better and I’m a little quicker on the uptake.

Let’s eat right and get those brains of ours working. I’m not ready to be a “forgetful Jones” quite yet (if ever!)

Stepping Outside of Your Comfort Zone (In One Easy Step)

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I have been frozen in fear. Kind of like Elsa.

I have prevented myself from taking opportunities. I have let fear take the wheel and steer.

I made all sorts of promises to myself. Proclamations to the internet. “I WILL FIGHT MY FEAR,” I shouted on social media.

And then I didn’t. I stayed in my nice comfortable house on my big squishy sofa and I didn’t leave unless it was church or something really important or to take the kids to do something awesome.

I did not go do all of those things I wanted to do. I was concerned I would show up late. Or something would be wrong. Or I would take the wrong exit, or bring the wrong things or not bring the right things, or {insert irrational fear here}.

I let the fear say “nope! You totally need to wrap yourself up in that blanket and stay right here because you got really fat and nobody wants to hang out with you because OMG, no.”

Then I took the one easy step I needed to kick that fear to the curb, get up off my couch and go be awesome.

You ready for this?

You just take one step.

That’s all you have to do. Take one step. And then keep doing that.

Take a step outside and go for a walk. Get your heart pumping. Start there.

Take a step away from the fast food and towards whole, nutritious foods. Feed your body what it needs.

THEN…

Take a step onto a sailboat, because there’s a free event and you and your traveling buddy have always wanted to try sailing.

Take a step into a sea kayak, because you keep obsessing about them and there just happens to be a gig you can attend and try them out.

Take a step away from that remote control and a step towards your yoga mat.

Take a step out of a relationship that no longer serves you.

Take a step out of a job or a hobby or anything that no longer feeds your soul (or your pocketbook) sufficiently.

It sounds totally goofy and completely cliché sometimes to say “it just takes one step”. But it does.

It may not be a physical step, but a different choice. An action. One different thing that changes the whole course of your day.

I plan on taking two steps forward in one of my side hustles and when those are in place, heading outside to take a step or two with my kids.

What “one step” can you take today?

Why This is My Last Whole30

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I’ve been doing Whole30 journeys on and off for nearly 3 years now. I have successfully completed 6 rounds, and am currently on lucky number 7.

It’s a fantastic program and I love it for what it’s built for – to help you move forward and maintain a healthy relationship with food. It is a step towards leading a healthier life than the one you’ve been living.

But this is my last round. I won’t do another full Whole30 ever again.

That sounds really final and really snippy, but that’s not my intent.

I just don’t want to have to go through this massive sugar/pizza/fried food hangover ever again. I don’t want to “fall off the wagon” so hard that I lie in a pile of McDonald’s and Papa Murphy’s for months (like I did after my last round in January).  I don’t want to continue my unhealthy relationship with Coca Cola.

I don’t want to use Whole30 as a crutch to get along from fast food binge to fast food binge. I don’t want to tell myself “oh, you can eat this crap today, even though you know it makes you feel like hot microwaved cat barf, because you’re doing a Whole30 soon.”

If I want to be different, I have to do different.

I can no longer just “do a whole30” when I’m in the middle of a slide into a giant tub of ice cream. I can’t “treat yoself” all the time.

I have to be kind to myself by restricting the foods that I know make my body sad, and make my brain all foggy.

Whole30 is an amazing tool, and I am grateful for what it’s taught me. On occasion, I may do a week here and there of strict Whole30 eating.

But for me, I won’t do another round again. I will be living a better-fueled life by eating better foods and feeding my body what it needs, not the fast food and soda I got addicted to.

Eight Life Lessons from Watching A LOT of Game of Thrones In A Short Period of Time

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I tried to avoid the wave. The giant all-encompassing wave of Game of Thrones fans.

Everybody on my Facebook timeline would post about the Red Wedding and Daenerys and the Others after a new episode aired. Yelling over the next death or the plot twist or whatever is happening with Jon Snow.

And still, for years I managed to avoid getting sucked in. Even living with two wildly fanatical GoT people, I watched about 3 minutes of an episode and was uninterested.

Until now.

Fast-forwarding through the weird sex scenes and stopping to appreciate the special effects and the sheer amount of (very realistic) fake blood that must have to be manufactured for most of these episodes, we have managed to make it through about 3 seasons so far.

And from those three (and a half) seasons, I’ve noticed a few really important things that I like to call…

  1. Life goes sideways; that’s inevitable. How you handle it is what defines you. Jon Snow had a lot of disappointment. He went at it with both hands and made the best of his situation…to a point. (ha)
    Bran Stark fell out a window and found himself.
    Arya went through some STUFF, man and look at what she’s doing.
    And Sansa. That girl. Whoa. She’s gone through hell and back and the fact she’s still standing upright is pretty impressive.
  2. If you come at people with even a modicum of power, you better be prepared. These people do. not. play. Some people with money or power will do anything to keep it.
    Cough CERSEI cough. (ew)
    Lord Baelish. *shudder*
    Joffrey (Don’t RIP, kid).
  3. If someone tells you not to trust them, that’s the one thing out of their mouth you should take at face value. People will tell you, one way or another, whether or not you can trust them.
    One of my favorite lines from Arya’s “dancing master” is: “my tongue lied, my eyes were shouting the truth.” Trust your gut.
  4. It is never ever a good idea to lie to people or hide the truth, especially when you’re trying to avoid something. I don’t know if I really need to elaborate on this one. This show would be a wholly different monster if people stopped pushing people off towers to hide something. Or stopped doing their sister.
  5. Size absolutely does not matter. Take Tyrion for example. Or Arya and her Needle. Or the sassy Khaleesi and her dragons.
  6. Sometimes, your family is not worth fighting for. Sometimes your family is a hot Lannister mess and picking all sorts of fights you are expected to finish. Sometimes, your family is Stark-ish and proud and loyal and needs to watch their backs. Sometimes you’re Stormborn and the last of your line. Either way, the ones who distance themselves from their family survive.
  7. Never EVER underestimate the wrath of a mom. You mess with her dragons kids? Fully expect her to either completely eviscerate you verbally (or sometimes with a giant sword) or just completely end you. She has no time to prolong your suffering, because she’s got kids to take care of. And probably
  8. People who are hurting will do some crazy things to other people. Like give birth to shadow babies and humiliate other people for their own entertainment and lie lie lie lie lie lie lie until they cannot lie anymore. Like set fire to boats and have red weddings and send other people to the North.

All in all, I think I’m going to stop watching now. I think I’m good with nearly four seasons watched! (And I read the books, so I’m ok with the storyline the way the books have it.)

What “life lessons” from GoT would you add to this list?