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Mia Cupcake

Maker of Beautiful, Colorful Things

Fall

How We Planned Thanksgiving 2018

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If y’all have been here for a bit, you know how much I love Thanksgiving. LOVE. IT. Maybe even more than Christmas.

Last year I shared our menu for Thanksgiving, but I didn’t really share how we plan. I got so many sweet messages asking me to share how we plan and keep it all together, and I realized something: I don’t really plan out the day too well. Dinner ends up being like 90+ minutes later than I tell everyone to prepare for, and inevitably something is underdone and I’m so stressed out by the time I sit down, I can hardly eat anything.

One rather notorious year where my kids were both with their dad, I managed to drink about half a bottle of wine while trying to baste the turkey, and I fell asleep at the dinner table. *AHEM*.

So this year, we are trying a plan.

And we are trying to keep it a little low-key, which means only two kinds of potatoes. And two kinds of rolls. And maybe only 3 pies. For five people.

So how do we plan our Thanksgiving?

  • I used a google doc for the first time this year, which we are excited about.  My mom can add comments if needed, and when dad is ready to go to the store, he can just print it out and check off items as he goes.
  • We start with the menu. Always a meat, always at least 2 kinds of potatoes, always a salad or veggie of some sort. Everything else is gravy. (Not literally.) This year to make things easy, I also added links to the recipes. (Those without links either don’t need recipes, or we have made them for so many years, we have the recipes memorized.)
  • This year, I color coded the items that will need oven time on the day of Thanksgiving. We only have one oven, so it makes it kind of hard when you’re trying to balance a turkey and seven sides that all need to be straight from the oven to the table. You have to figure out what can be made ahead and finished just before taking it to the table, and what has to be oven to table in one move.
  • I went through the recipes one-by-one to see which ingredients we had on hand. I made a list of what herbs we could snip from our garden, and what I thought my mom and dad would have in their kitchen. Then I built the shopping list from there.

I’m hoping this will get dinner onto the table around the time we set to eat (2pm) and that my brother (who works in a professional kitchen in Seattle) doesn’t make too much fun of me.

I used a google doc this year, which is great.

 

Last-Second Moms Can Find Halloween Costume Help at Goodwill

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This post was sponsored by Goodwill of the Olympics & Rainier Region. All opinions are mine. 

I love Halloween. Costumes are my jam, I love little kids all dressed up and strung out on sugar, I love spooky decorations and scary movies. I love those weird little cotton spiderwebs that stick to everything except where you want them to.

In the past few years, I skipped Halloween altogether. I sat at home, watching scary movies in the dark by myself, with one kid at their dad’s and one kid off with their friends.

Last year, I got up and got over myself. But not until October 30th. I was kind of screwed, since I had not worn a decent costume in years and the yoga pants that stood in for my “work clothes” would not make any sort of a costume at all.

But my awesome thrift shopping skills kicked in, and Goodwill came through.

I walked in with no idea what I wanted (or if I could even pull it off), and walked out with everything I needed (except the green hairspray) to be the Joker.

I even found a pretty great Batman while trick or treating with my friend and her kids!

So this year, when Goodwill of the Olympics & Rainier Region invited me out to their Tacoma store for a costume-hunting contest and a little Halloween fun, of course I made that happen.

Goodwill is pretty amazing year-round, but during Halloween, they really step it up. In the Olympics & Rainier Region, they have a costume expert stationed within each store. Over the last three years, Georgeann Johnson worked within this family of Goodwill stores, and has built a team of people who LOVE Halloween.

Each expert gets 2 hours of training before heading into their store, where they can help you not only find the pieces you need, but build a costume around pieces you already have. They have lookbooks to peruse and racks upon racks upon racks of costumes that they amass all year long.

They can even work within your budget, outfit your kids and take a look at your Pinterest boards with you to make your Halloween amazing.

So I had the pleasure of visiting with a crew of the costume experts and a squad of fellow bloggers in that Tacoma store. They had a contest, where they gave us an hour and a gift certificate, and we had to come up with the best costume we possibly could.

Listen, I’m competitive as all get out. I’m also really passionate about costumes and I have always wanted to try cosplaying (which is basically Halloween on the other 364 days). So Marie (the costume expert I got paired with) and I went after it.

The signage on the racks had a variety of costume ideas, and the look book got a quick peek, but we found this one hat, and the rest of it fell together pretty quickly after that.

And that’s my actual hair, not a wig like one of the employees thought!

So, Marie and I won the contest. We didn’t think we would (some of our competitors were so awesome!) but we had SO MUCH FUN putting the costume together, we would have been ok not winning too!

We only had an hour to put this costume together. It can be done.

How can you put a costume together at the last second and look awesome?

  • Have some ideas. Throw together a Pinterest board of some costume ideas you like. Think of your favorite cartoon characters or comic book characters. Have a few ideas in mind.
  • Bring your smart phone. You can google characters to see what they look like to get a little authenticity, or just get an idea of what to do with that awesome leather jacket you found!
  • Have an open mind. I started out thinking I would just try and revamp the Joker costume. I saw that steampunk hat, and the whole plan flipped. Don’t be married to a plan, and Goodwill will come through for you!
  • Know what you have at home. Being able to use what you’ve got at home is a big bonus. Spend less $$ on costumes, have more to spend on candy. Or whatever your Halloween treat of choice is.

Not only does Goodwill have great costumes, but Goodwill of the Olympics & Rainier Region does some good work. I’ve talked about it before; they have an amazing training center in Tacoma, and some wonderful programs to help people better their lives, or get back on their feet.

So buying your costume at Goodwill not only has an effect on your wallet, but helps out a lot of really amazing people.

I know that sounds really cheesy, but it’s true and I really admire what my friends at the Goodwill are doing to help out their community (and make it possible for my awesome thrift shop trips)!

15 Essential Oil Diffuser Recipes for Fall

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I’ve recently started a morning routine, sensing the need for some normalcy in my life now that I’m almost 40. (cough)

As part of that routine (while I’m waiting for my kettle to boil), I have started setting up our essential oil diffuser to run for most of the day. Depending on what my morning looks like, I’ll change the formula, but my house always smells delightful.

I usually make my own “recipes” and visitors to Chez Cupcake seem to enjoy the aroma, so I thought I would share some of my favorite blends with you.

(Need a diffuser of your own? Check out our Amazon store here, with a few of our favorites!)

Essential Oil Diffuser Recipes for Fall

Good Morning Blend (good for waking up that sleepy brain of yours): 3 drops Peppermint, 2 drops Vanilla, 2 drops Clementine, 1 drop Basil, 2 drops Rosemary

Germ Zapper (helps when those kids bring home alllll the germs from school): 1 drop Cinnamon Bark, 2 drops Rosemary, 2 drops Orange Peel, 1 drop Clove, 2 drops Eucalyptus

Flu Bomb (when you’re already sick and need to kick that bug to the curb): 2 drops each of Lemon, Lavender, Tea Tree and Peppermint

Bake Me a Pie (for those times you just want your whole house to smell like pie): 1 drop Clove, 2 drops Cinnamon, 2 drops Wild Orange, 3 drops Cardamom

Spice it Up (for a warming scent – good for cleaning!): 4 drops Wild Orange, 3 drops Cinnamon Bark, 2 drops Cypress, 2 drop Clove

Autumn Siesta (for when you need to chill and take a nap, or at bedtime!): 2 drops Ylang Ylang, 2 drops Cedarwood, 5 drops Lavender, 2 drops Sandalwood, 2 drops Vetiver, 1 drop Roman Chamomile

Apple Orchard (for before or after that Instagram walk through the orchard): 1 drop Clove, 1 drop Cinnamon Bark, 2 drops Nutmeg, 1 drop Clove, 3 drops Wild Orange

Keep Me Warm (a little bit sassy, for warming up somebody else’s popsicle toes): 2 drops Ginger, 4 drops Bergamot, 4 drops Ylang Ylang, 4 drops Sandalwood, 2 drops Wild Orange, 1 drop Vetiver

Autumn Holiday (bring a little bit of a festive air into your house): 4 drops Wild Orange, 3 drops Frankincense, 2 drops Cinnamon, 2 drops Tea Tree

Time for Zen (when you just need a moment during all the back-to-school craziness and Halloween costume-making): 3 drops Ylang Ylang, 4 drops Roman Chamomile, 7 drops Lavender

Mulled Cider (REALLY good for if you’re staging your house or having some sort of get-together): 2 drops Cedarwood, 2 drops Lime, 4 drops Lavender, 3 drops Wild Orange, 5 drops Bergamot

Flannel Shirts and Wool Socks (a cozy blend, sure to make that Netflix binge a little more hygge): 1 drop Clove, 2 drops Douglas Fir, 2 drops Cinnamon, 2 drops Cypress, 1 drop Cassia, 2 drops Frankincense

The Go To Blend (my favorite – one I do nearly every day, especially if coffee hasn’t kicked in) : 4 drops Lemon, 7 drops Lavender, 3 drops Patchouli

If you have any questions, we are always happy to help! Find us on social media (@miacupcake everywhere!) or you can email us here!

Happy Fall!

The Ultimate Hocus Pocus Collection

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“Oh look, another GLORIOUS morning. Makes me sick.”

I remember the first time I ever watched Hocus Pocus, 25 years ago (side note, how is that POSSIBLE?). I was TERRIFIED.

Took me another 5 years to watch it (in the dark, in a room full of my sorority sisters…not recommended), and I spent the next month working Sanderson Sisters quotes into every conversation.

So without further ado, I give you all the awesome things I could find around the internet with a Hocus Pocus theme so you can deck your halls with all the Winifred, Sarah and Mary you can handle!

Hocus Pocus Themed Snacks & Desserts

Black Cat Bark will satisfy all the sweet tooth people you know.

Witches’ Brew Spumoni Trifle

Hocus Pocus Cupcakes are easy to put together, but makes you look like a professional cake decorator!

Add a little Sanderson Sisters sass to brownie bites and you get these Witches’ Brew Bites.

Want bigger brownies, but still a little Winifred magic? These Spellbook Brownies hit the spot!

Want some cookie options? Cauldron Sugar Cookies or this amazing Halloween Gingerbread house should do it for you.

Cupcakes more your style? Check out these adorable Witches’ Brew Cupcakes!

Hocus Pocus Apparel & Accessories

This Black Cat Handbag will go with all of your Sanderson Sisters gear!

You can make this gorgeous banner to decorate your home and then make these awesome cups to toast your Hocus Pocus movie night!

TeePublic is chock full of awesome teeshirt designs with Winifred, Mary and Sarah! 

I can’t believe how many Hocus-Pocus-themed items you can find on Etsy right now….but this doormat is one of my favorites!

Hocus Pocus Quizzes

This claims to be the most difficult Hocus Pocus quiz ever.

This quiz also makes that claim, so maybe take both and see which is harder?

Which Hocus Pocus character are you? This quiz should tell you!

This one doesn’t say it’s the “most difficult” quiz, but it does say ULTIMATE!

And just for good measure, one more “ULTIMATE” quiz.

30 Amazing Apple Recipes for Fall

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We used to have our “color charts” done when I was younger, so we would know which colors to wear and which makeup would flatter our skin tones.

I was ALWAYS an “Autumn”. Truth be told, I loved being in the fall category, but I really hate wearing yellow and orange and brown. SO MUCH.

Colors and makeups aside, fall is far and away my favorite season. Mostly because it means APPLES.

All of the apple orchard trips we can handle (which thrills my children)! Applesauce in the crockpot! Apple pies and canning pie filling!

I love apples, can you tell?

So! Without further ado, I’ve sifted through some of my favorite blogs and found 30 (!!!) different apple recipes for your fall needs.

I do it because I love you and want you to be happy.

Crockpot Apple Butter

Apple Sandwiches

Apple Cake Cupcakes

Apple Blondies

Apple Cheesecake Crumble

No-Bake Cinnamon Apple Date Bars

Caramel Apple Granola

Caramel Apple Popcorn

Glazed Apple Pie Cookies

Apple Cider Caramel Popcorn

Apple Cashew Snack Bites

Chocolate Covered Apple Cider Caramels

Roasted Crisp Caramel Apples

Apple Oatmeal Muffins

Apple Protein Muffins

No-Bake Caramel Apple Pie Protein Bars

Apple Cinnamon Crumble Doughnuts

Apple Fritters

Apple Cinnamon Granola

Apple Gingerbread Muffins

Easy Cinnamon Apples

Apple Crisp Bites

Slow Cooker Applesauce

Baked Gluten Free Apple Cider Donuts

Crazy Caramel Apple Pie Bombs

Apple Pear Sangria

Apple Crumble

Apple Dump Cake

Pumpkin Apple Chimichanga

Chicken and Apple Sweet Potato Stirfry

If you have any apple recipes you love but didn’t see here on the list, please feel free to add them in the comments!

5 Things You Need to Know About Being a High School Senior Parent

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It’s that time of year again, when my timeline is full of kids with fresh haircuts and brand spanking clean clothes, holding up signs that say “First Day of XXX Grade!”

There are some moms for whom this return to school is quite bittersweet. It’s their baby’s last first day of high school. They bought a new backpack, got all the pencils and complicated calculators, ironed the new shirt  and paid the ASB fees for the last time.

They dropped their kiddo off (or waved at them as they drove away or got on the bus) and choked back a tear or two. They checked the mailbox to see the college catalogs and application invitations beginning to pile up. They sat down and realized this is the last first day of school.

Some may have celebrated. And maybe found some confetti to throw in the air. *cough*

So for those of you still in the trenches (I feel you, Wolfgang graduated in 2018), I’ve got a list for you!

5 Things You Need to Know About Being a High School Senior Parent

  1. It’s a whole year full of lasts. The last first day of school. The last band concert. If you are an emotional human, stock up on Kleenex. I cried for the entire first week of school. It’s ok. All the senior moms are doing it (except that one mom you know, and this is her last kid and she is 900% over it).
  2. It’s an expensive year. Class rings and yearbook ads and special hats they wear only once and flowers for everything and announcements to remind the world you have kept them alive for 18 years and teeshirts that say “CLASS OF 20**” and all sorts of events. Parties and proms and dresses or tuxes and road trips before all of them split off and start their grownup lives without you and DON’T CRY BECAUSE IT WILL BE OK, but get more Kleenex.
  3. Take the pictures. Kids tend to wander away after high school graduation and they’re adults and stuff. Once they’re not in your house anymore, you’ll appreciate the plethora of photos of the last first day of school and the last band camp and wallpapering your house with photos of your children is entirely acceptable.
  4. If you miss something, don’t feel guilty. Because it’s the “last” of everything, you can really get caught up in filling your dayplanner with everything from PTA meetings to parent-teacher conferences to football games to concerts. You don’t have to attend everything if it’s tearing you up. I missed the last Back To School night AND a choir concert and kicked myself for weeks. Spare yourself the “mea culpa” and just accept that you won’t make everything. It’s totally ok.
  5. It’s OK if your kiddo doesn’t know what they want to do next year. My Facebook timeline for Wolfgang’s entire senior year was “Little Joey got accepted to Banana State University” or “We got yet another acceptance letter, Peanut will have so many choices!” I have so many words about this, but it’s OK if your kid doesn’t have the rest of their lives planned out today.

High school senior moms need a lot of grace – if you know one, make sure you hug them. Or invite them out for drinks. Or hug them and THEN invite them out for drinks.

Gingerbread Spice Mix

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I’ve got some people in my life who REALLY LOVE GINGERBREAD.

I end up making gingerbread cookies in the dead heat of summer some years, just so I can keep my people happy.

So this year, they’re going to be REALLY HAPPY as we are doing a series here on the blog of…

TWELVE DAYS OF GINGERBREAD.

Starting tomorrow and working through the next few weeks, I’ll have 12 creations or recipes for you, that will use my “Gingerbread Spice Mix”.

That’s 12 days of gingerbread-spiced goodness – and you can stock up on all of the gingerbread-flavored everything that you could ever want!

This is a pretty easy recipe – and if you purchase your spices in bulk, it shouldn’t be super expensive!

Just mix the spices together and put into a container. I had an empty cinnamon jar knocking around my kitchen, so I just removed the labels and washed the jar thoroughly and VOILA!

Gingerbread Spice.

This makes great gifts just by itself, or hoard it all to yourself and make all the 12 Days of Gingerbread Recipes.

Print
Gingerbread Spice Mix
Prep Time
5 mins
 

A melange of spices you can use in any gingerbread creation

Ingredients
  • 1/2 tsp ground cloves
  • 1 tsp ground nutmeg freshly ground is good, but not necessary
  • 1 tbsp allspice
  • 4 tbsp ground cinnamon
  • 3-4 tbsp ground ginger use 4 if you like your gingerbread ginger-y!
Instructions

  1. Combine all spices into a jar. Lasts approximately a year, if stored in a dark place.

Recipes or instructions for this 12 Days of Gingerbread will go live around noon each day, so make sure you’re following on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook!

Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows

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I usually stand in the same position at the stove when I’m tending to whatever is bubbling. Weight shifted onto one foot, toes of the other foot tucked into the arch of the standing foot.

I suppose it’s a throwback to 10 years of strict ballet lessons, the kind with high windows in an old building with a scarred hardwood floor and a ballet teacher who pounded that floor with her crystal-knobbed cane in time with the music like a giant strict top-knotted French metronome, who would yell (in French) if you were off beat and she never lost tempo.

But now, I stand at the stove in my kitchen in some sort of 3rd position variation, 20+ years after I hung up my pointe shoes.

I hear someone singing softly from the other room. Carefully approaching notes like they might run away if you hit them too aggressively. They’re making up songs as they clean the living room, and it’s something about a dust bunny and a cat. I can’t quite make it out.

Behind me through the open kitchen window, I hear the neighbors across the alley. They’re playing one last game of cornhole before the weather turns and we have to spend more time indoors.

She’s laughing and he’s telling some splendidly terrible jokes. As usual, I’ll send Wolfgang over to them with some of whatever I’m experiment-cooking when I am all done.

They’re really amazing taste testers, and I’m grateful for the willingness they had in opening their door in the dead of winter last year to their weird new neighbor and a plateful of marshmallows. They also introduced me to the joy of Fluffernutter sandwiches, and my life will never be the same.

Inside the kitchen, fall has arrived.

It smells like pie, but there will be no pie today. (And not because I have not yet mastered the pie crust.)

There will be marshmallows.

Oh, there will be marshmallows.

(For my cold-brew marshmallows, check here. For candy corn marshmallows, check here.)

Print
Pumpkin Pie Marshmallows
Prep Time
15 mins
Cook Time
20 mins
Total Time
35 mins
 

Get a piece of pumpkin pie, but in marshmallow form!

Course: Dessert
Ingredients
  • nonstick cooking spray
  • 1 cup cold water
  • 2 cups white sugar
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 2/3 cup light corn syrup
  • 2 scoops Vital Proteins grassfed gelatin can also use 3 1/4-oz envelopes of store-bought gelatin
  • 1/4 cup pumpkin puree
  • 3 tsp pumpkin pie spice
Instructions

  1. Pour half of the water into a bowl fitted on your stand mixer. Sprinkle your gelatin over the water and set aside.

  2. Get your 9×11 baking dish (I used an 8×10 for thicker marshmallows). Line it with aluminum foil, then spray that foil lightly with baking spray. Set aside.

  3. Combine the remainder of the water plus the sugar, salt and corn syrup in a medium saucepan over low heat. Stir until sugar dissolves.

  4. Increase heat to medium, clip a candy thermometer to the side of the pot and WATCH THE POT. Seriously, don’t walk away right now. It can boil up real fast. If it boils up, lift the pot off the heat and decrease your burner a notch.

  5. Cook without stirring until syrup reaches 235-240°.

  6. Start the mixer on low, and pour the syrup in a slow steady stream down the side of the bowl.

  7. When all syrup is incorporated, increase speed slowly to high.

  8. While this is beating, get a spatula and a glass of water. 

    ALSO - combine the pumpkin and the pie spice in a small bowl.

  9. Beat until mixture has tripled in volume, is glossy, thick, and pulls away from the sides of the bowl as you mix. When you pull the beater out of the mix, it should fall in large slow ribbons and be slow to melt back into the bowl.

  10. Fold in the pumpkin mixture with a spatula until fairly well-incorporated. 

  11. Pour mixture into your prepared baking dish. Use your damp spatula to scrape out the bowl and smooth the top. Work fast – this stiffens up QUICK.

  12. Set aside to set for 4 hours (or overnight).

  13. Sift together the cornstarch and powdered sugar and spread some of that mixture onto a clean work surface (leave the rest in a bowl). Turn your marshmallows out onto this surface and remove the foil.

  14. Use a damp knife (that glass of water comes in handy!) and cut into squares in the size of your choosing.

  15. Toss your squares in the remaining cornstarch/powdered sugar mix and shake off excess.

  16. Store in an airtight container for up to 10 days, though they probably won’t last that long.

Need to snag yourself some Vital Proteins gelatin? Use my affiliate link here and get a HUGE tub for only $49!

This post was written as a part of the NaBloPoMo, a daily blogging journey I am committing to in November 2017.

My Thanksgiving List

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I used to date a gentleman whose family had Thanksgiving down to a SCIENCE.

There were spreadsheets and schedules and so much organization involved, it was so impressive! Rendered me almost completely moot for the handful of Thanksgivings we were together…which made me kind of sad.

ANYWAY.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, even more than Christmas.

I do have a process I like to go through, but it’s not as exact as my ex’s super-organized family.

How I do Thanksgiving planning: 

  • I stock up on Thanksgiving magazines, and pore over them like I did with Seventeen and Lucky magazines when I was in high school. I spread them out all over the floor and start to organize.
  • I dogear the pages of everything that looks good, and then go back through them with pink post it notes to mark the dishes that are “viable”. (i.e. if I need 2 ovens simultaneously, it’s not happening. Ditto with deep-fried turkey and anything sous vide.)
  • I whittle down the pink post-its to 3-4 sides, 2-3 pies and a turkey recipe. Potatoes are a given, two different types (see menu below).
  • I take a nice clean sheet of paper and write out a list of the dishes, including the magazine and issue (or website, or cookbook) where I can find the recipe and the amount of oven time it will take (and if it needs to rest after cooking).
  • Then I make my shopping list. I’ll go through, recipe by recipe, and write out each ingredient on a piece of paper, adding everything up.
  • I’ll pull out the serving pieces and put a sticky note on each one with the name of the dish they’ll hold.

BOOM.

I would go over my shopping method, but it’s kind of willy nilly and depends on who has the best price on a good brand of turkey, to be perfectly frank.

Menu for Thanksgiving, 2017

  1. Turkey. I’ve tried multiple recipes over the years for turkey. I’ve had two turkeys I didn’t know needed to be thawed before cooking. I’ve burned the crap out of at least one turkey.  My favorite is a classic dry brined, oven roasted bird – trying this recipe this year!
  2. Rolls. My momma makes her world famous homemade crescent rolls, and this year I’m going to try Parker House Rolls as well. We do love our carbs.
  3. Stuffing. This is made in a traditional way, with very few variations. I tried making my own cornbread one year for a new kind of stuffing and was informed I should never do that again because it’s not the same. We cook half of it in the turkey and half of it in the same dish my mother has used since the 70s.
  4. Potatoes. Two kinds, never varies except the one year I tried Hasselbeck potatoes and nearly had a riot on my hands. I make my mashed potatoes, where I add cream cheese and sometimes a bit of heavy cream and Maldon (always, NEVER TABLE SALT) and sometimes a little bit of rosemary and just whip all of it together. The second potato is (at least) one casserole dish of “Grandma’s Potatoes”, from my maternal grandmother. Cornflakes on the top, sour cream in the base. It’s delicious.
  5. Brussels Sprouts. My whole family loves them, which completely baffles me. I always have hated them. (The sprouts, not my family.) We have tried a couple of recipes, but this one is on the list for this year.
  6. Green Bean Casserole. I’m a weirdo who LOVES green beans. We are trying this recipe with mushrooms this year, and I have a feeling I will be eating a butt ton of this by myself. I don’t mind at all.
  7. Pies. We are still deciding on these. I’ve put my foot down and said only 3 desserts, because everyone wanted their own pie and there’s no way in the holy Lord’s good green earth that I am making a separate pie for each person. Nope. Did that one year. Right now, we have a chocolate cream pie, a dutch apple or a double crust apple pie, a dual layer pumpkin cheesecake, a pumpkin pie and a mincemeat pie in the request pile.

That’s our Thanksgiving for this year! We will stuff ourselves with food, then lie around on the couches and watch Elf for its scheduled annual viewing.

What are you having for your turkey day? Do you have any traditions?

This post was written as a part of the NaBloPoMo, a daily blogging journey I am committing to in November 2017.

How to Deal With Customer Service During the Holidays

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I’ve worked a lot of retail and customer service jobs in my life. From barista to saleschick at a clothing store to an assistant manager at an art-gallery-type store to call centers.

I’ve been doing this in various capacities for 20 years.

I have dealt with a lot of people, and I can tell you: the holidays are the worst for anybody in retail or any kind of customer service.

Customers are overtired and stuffed full of sugar. They are late. They are stressed. They are broke, and trying to figure out how to pay for Christmas. There’s a lot going on inside of every person walking past you in the mall.

The “filter” between what’s going on in their brains and what’s coming out of their mouths gets thinner and thinner with each passing minute. The less sleep, the more money being spent, the more stress getting piled on (“what do you mean you need 2 dozen cookies today for school?), the thinner the filter gets.

I remember one lady calling a place I was working and screaming so loud, I had to hold the phone away from my ear. The entire store could hear her screaming. When she stopped, I put the phone back up to my ear and sympathized with her, even though my whole body was exhausted after a 10 hour shift at 4 months pregnant and I really just wanted to go home but my entire staff had just called out or quit and I had nobody to relieve me.

It’s ok to be frustrated. I get frustrated all the time. What’s not ok is screaming at a complete stranger because you had a bad day.

After so long working in this industry, I’ve come up with a list of things that I wish my customers knew when they approached with a problem or an issue.

I hope this helps my retail and call center peeps a little this holiday season – I feel your pain!

SEVEN THINGS CUSTOMERS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT
DEALING WITH CUSTOMER SERVICE:

  1. It’s the holidays, have some patience. That person on the other end of the phone is a human who is real busy too. They get it. But they also have to deal with hundreds of customers every week who DON’T get that the voice on the phone or the typing behind the chat all come from another human being. It’s amazing what people will say to retail workers or customer service agents when they’re calling or typing. If you don’t have to look them in the face, do your hella angry (and sometimes downright rude) words really count? Spoiler: YES THEY DO.
  2. Be kind. The retail worker or call center employee did not personally break your internet or screw up your shipment or send you a broken doodad. They do want to help you, but their desire to do so lessens with every snarky thing you say to them. The nicer you are, the more that agent wants to do very nice things for you to make up for your problem.
  3. We (customer service and retail) totally feel you. You are not the first person to call and say that your cell phone isn’t working, or to tell us that defective thing is defective. We would be frustrated too, if this was happening to us. We get it. But….
  4. It’s pretty restrictive as to what we can do for you. We DEFINITELY want to help you (because it’s our jobs), so ask how the agent can help you fix the problem, or ask for something reasonable. Your phone wasn’t working for 10 minutes because the network was down? You’re not going to get a huge credit on your bill. You’re not getting a free iPhone because you dropped yours in a puddle. You might get a credit if you ask – and ….
  5. It never hurts to ask. Again, NICELY PLEASE. And be reasonable. If they say “no, we aren’t allowed”, don’t escalate. Escalating to a manager is for when the person “helping you” isn’t helping, not when you think the manager is going to give you a bigger credit.
  6. Please do not open up a support case, and then immediately call while you are online chatting with the same company. This means you are occupying 3x the people for 1 of your issues. This is helpful for exactly zero people.
  7. “Squeaky wheel gets the grease” is right. But that doesn’t mean the squeaky wheel has to be rude. You can advocate for yourself and your issue without being a total jackwagon, and as I mentioned in #2, the person on the other end of the phone will be way more willing to give you more if you’re nice.

Summary: be nice. Working retail and customer service is hard during the holidays, and we want to make your lives better so be kind!

This post was written as a part of the NaBloPoMo, a daily blogging journey I am committing to in November 2017.