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Take Your Bestie to Cirque du Soleil Day (Alegria)

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I was provided with tickets to see Alegría in exchange for this piece. I received no other compensation.

It’s been a hell of a few years. I don’t have to tell any of you that. We’ve all experienced loss and isolation and blows to our mental health. It’s been brutal.

For those of you who are fans of my Instagram, you know I’ve had a fairly rough go of it personally. Battling anxiety, dealing with my “muggle job”, losing my housing, enduring a breakup, finding myself…it’s been a lot.

Sabrina, my best friend has been there for me through all of it. So when an invite slid into my inbox from Cirque du Soleil asking if I wanted to cover the opening night of the revamp of their Alegria show, I don’t know that I bothered to read the email in its entirety before I responded “YES PLEASE” and told Sabrina she was coming with me.

This particular Cirque show has fairly special meaning for me. It was the very first Cirque show I ever saw (Alegría in 2004, Quidam in 2005, Kurios in 2013, Volta in 2018 and now Alegría again in 2022). My boyfriend back in 2004 bought tickets for my birthday, and it was the first “fancy date” I’d ever been on. I bought a dress and wore heels and he wore a suit and it was a VERY big deal. Completely out of character for him, so it was a special treat.

And I was HOOKED from the opening riffs. I watched all the YouTube videos I could find. I tried to find circus classes. I sang the theme song for YEARS (and was pleased to see they reworked it for this show).

I get sidetracked easily when I tell y’all my stories, but trust me. This invitation could not have come at a better time.

So Sabrina and I hopped in the Iron Van (her mini van, the transpo for many of our shenanigans) and sped our way to Seattle one very rainy Wednesday evening to walk our very first red carpet.

Until I saw the unbridled joy on her face at seeing that blue-striped tent, I did not realize it was Sabrina’s first Cirque du Soleil experience ever.

See, Sabrina is my “serious” friend. She’s my rock. She’s the one that is right there with me when I can’t stand by myself and claps the loudest when I win. She’s the one who tells me I absolutely should NOT buy a prom dress just to sit around in my house. She’s the one that reminds me that internet dating is a terrible idea for me, and holds my hand when I break my own heart again.

She’s my hetero life mate. She’s the Silent Bob to my chatty Jay.

So getting to see absolute glee and wonder spread slowly across her face as she took a glass of champagne from a disembodied hand sticking out of a foliage-covered wall, and see that light in her eyes shine through the entire show and all the way home? Hearing her giggle at our new friends and our shenanigans (because hi! It’s still me, I make new friends wherever I go)? Watching her eyes grow big at the gent on the German Wheel, or hearing her squee at the hula hoop artist?

Having her say “YES!” I should buy those wings from the Alegría merch shop that were made for children but matched my hair?

Hearing her whisper “this is so magical” as she covers her mouth with her hands and watches the trapeze artists fly? It’s priceless.

Sharing one of my favorite experiences with the person who has done more for me than I could ever repay was the best way to help see that this “new normal” might not be so terrible.

Everyone should take their adult friends to Cirque for the first time. Or their third. Or their fifth. It’s a gleeful childlike experience that we could all use after the difficult times we’ve had lately.

Alegría is showing at Marymoor Park in Redmond, WA through March 13, 2022. Tickets are available here and you should absolutely go if you are able.

I Have Been Wearing These Clothes for Three Days

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I have had on these yoga pants and this teeshirt for three days. I’ve even slept in them.

Wolfgang left for school this morning and I was sitting on the couch with my laptop, and chances are when he comes home, I will still be there. The couch has been my home base for a few days.

See, I have an ENORMOUS to-do list and a ridiculously small amount of time right now.

It’s just me in this house. It’s me to make sure kids go to bed and make sure the bills are paid. It’s me to check homework and sweep the floors (and HOLY BABY BEYONCÉ, who put so much floor in this house??). It’s me to remember the appointments and write the “honey-do” list and then DO THE HONEY-DO LIST.

I don’t have a huge team of people standing next to me, helping with housework and child-raising and money-earning.

I’m ok with it about 98% of the time. I’ve got this. I am a MASTER of single parenting. (Mostly).

I can keep everything straight, but sometimes the wheels come off.

And right now, there’s a lot going on.

I have had some really bad episodes in the past, where I don’t know what to do so I don’t do anything.

But I have learned. I prioritize when I get overwhelmed, doing things in order of importance before I run out of energy.

Sometimes, decisions have to be made if I want to get business taken care of.

I know that from Sunday night to Wednesday morning every other week, I don’t have much opportunity to see other human beings. So if I need to knuckle down and knock out a bunch of stuff, I can kinda forgo basic public social things like putting on makeup or brushing my hair or sometimes changing my clothes.

In the last 3 days, I have mopped the floors upstairs once (SERIOUSLY SO MUCH FLOOR), swept twice, cleaned off the coffee table (a vortex of clutter and chaos) three times, cleaned out my office, scrubbed the bathroom, took a carload to Goodwill, went to church, made 5 meals, made almond milk and almond flour, roasted a chicken, took a bath, did my nails, deep conditioned my hair, did a face mask and watered all the plants. Oh, and I worked my full time job and wrote two blog posts.

And that’s my secret, actually, of how I “get it all done”. Sometimes I don’t.

Sometimes it’s just too much and I don’t change my clothes. Single parenting is hard.

I really need to change my clothes.

A Man in My Kitchen

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I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not I’ll ever date again.

It’s not for lack of trying, because I’ve tried internet dating and straight up giving my phone number to interesting single men and even asking men out myself instead of waiting for them to ask.

There’s a strong possibility that I’ll just stay single for the rest of my life and after a lot of struggle and a ton of tears, I’ve come to peace with that option.

But I can’t help but think about what kind of man would be enough for me.

One that would dance party just because it’s Tuesday. One that would laugh at my (mostly terrible) jokes. Be content to sit on summer Saturday mornings in the backyard, drinking coffee and not saying a word.

One that would love our farmers market just as much as I do.

One that would know when I get a bug up my butt about something, to just stand back and let me spin it out.

One that would tell me about his quirks. Let me (at least) cheer him on in his hobbies. One that would let me in, instead of keep me at arms’ length. One that would allow me to see his soft spots and want to see mine. One that would allow me to support him.

I want a man who I will allow in the kitchen at the same time as me.

Allow me to explain.

The kitchen is my safe space in all of the homes I have lived in. It is where I go when all of the emotions are too big, and where I go when I need to figure something out. It’s where I hammer out dough. Where I learned to poach eggs properly. Where I learned how to make a smooth, non-grainy buttercream frosting.

It’s the one room I look at very closely when searching for a new home. The last one I pack up before we leave.

And I absolutely cannot stand when people are in the kitchen when I’m cooking. It’s my “tree fort”. And most people make me want to pull up the ladder and hang a “GO AWAY” sign.

I don’t want your fingers in the pots of whatever is bubbling on the stove, I don’t want you eating my mise en place. I don’t want you moving everything I have carefully (and usually chaotically) arranged to try and find tea.

I love you, but I do not want to answer a million questions about why I am using a wet pastry brush to wash the sides of a pot while I make caramel, or why I stand on one foot when I stir pots.

It’s my personal space. Yes, the entire kitchen is my personal space.

I don’t know where it stems from, but I am super territorial about the kitchen. I’ve had to physically bite my tongue in the past when I’ve shared kitchen space with multiple people. From roommates, to boyfriends mothers’ to the one boyfriend I had with better cooking skills than mine, I literally bit my tongue to keep from telling people to get out of my kitchen.

I smacked one boyfriend’s hand with a spoon when he tried to stick his car-greased fingers in my gravy on Thanksgiving. That relationship ended three days later.

So if I ever find a man who can come in the kitchen, grab a spoon and taste whatever I am making….that’s the guy for me.

This post was written as a part of the NaBloPoMo, a daily blogging journey I am committing to in November 2017.

How to Deal With Customer Service During the Holidays

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I’ve worked a lot of retail and customer service jobs in my life. From barista to saleschick at a clothing store to an assistant manager at an art-gallery-type store to call centers.

I’ve been doing this in various capacities for 20 years.

I have dealt with a lot of people, and I can tell you: the holidays are the worst for anybody in retail or any kind of customer service.

Customers are overtired and stuffed full of sugar. They are late. They are stressed. They are broke, and trying to figure out how to pay for Christmas. There’s a lot going on inside of every person walking past you in the mall.

The “filter” between what’s going on in their brains and what’s coming out of their mouths gets thinner and thinner with each passing minute. The less sleep, the more money being spent, the more stress getting piled on (“what do you mean you need 2 dozen cookies today for school?), the thinner the filter gets.

I remember one lady calling a place I was working and screaming so loud, I had to hold the phone away from my ear. The entire store could hear her screaming. When she stopped, I put the phone back up to my ear and sympathized with her, even though my whole body was exhausted after a 10 hour shift at 4 months pregnant and I really just wanted to go home but my entire staff had just called out or quit and I had nobody to relieve me.

It’s ok to be frustrated. I get frustrated all the time. What’s not ok is screaming at a complete stranger because you had a bad day.

After so long working in this industry, I’ve come up with a list of things that I wish my customers knew when they approached with a problem or an issue.

I hope this helps my retail and call center peeps a little this holiday season – I feel your pain!

SEVEN THINGS CUSTOMERS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT
DEALING WITH CUSTOMER SERVICE:

  1. It’s the holidays, have some patience. That person on the other end of the phone is a human who is real busy too. They get it. But they also have to deal with hundreds of customers every week who DON’T get that the voice on the phone or the typing behind the chat all come from another human being. It’s amazing what people will say to retail workers or customer service agents when they’re calling or typing. If you don’t have to look them in the face, do your hella angry (and sometimes downright rude) words really count? Spoiler: YES THEY DO.
  2. Be kind. The retail worker or call center employee did not personally break your internet or screw up your shipment or send you a broken doodad. They do want to help you, but their desire to do so lessens with every snarky thing you say to them. The nicer you are, the more that agent wants to do very nice things for you to make up for your problem.
  3. We (customer service and retail) totally feel you. You are not the first person to call and say that your cell phone isn’t working, or to tell us that defective thing is defective. We would be frustrated too, if this was happening to us. We get it. But….
  4. It’s pretty restrictive as to what we can do for you. We DEFINITELY want to help you (because it’s our jobs), so ask how the agent can help you fix the problem, or ask for something reasonable. Your phone wasn’t working for 10 minutes because the network was down? You’re not going to get a huge credit on your bill. You’re not getting a free iPhone because you dropped yours in a puddle. You might get a credit if you ask – and ….
  5. It never hurts to ask. Again, NICELY PLEASE. And be reasonable. If they say “no, we aren’t allowed”, don’t escalate. Escalating to a manager is for when the person “helping you” isn’t helping, not when you think the manager is going to give you a bigger credit.
  6. Please do not open up a support case, and then immediately call while you are online chatting with the same company. This means you are occupying 3x the people for 1 of your issues. This is helpful for exactly zero people.
  7. “Squeaky wheel gets the grease” is right. But that doesn’t mean the squeaky wheel has to be rude. You can advocate for yourself and your issue without being a total jackwagon, and as I mentioned in #2, the person on the other end of the phone will be way more willing to give you more if you’re nice.

Summary: be nice. Working retail and customer service is hard during the holidays, and we want to make your lives better so be kind!

This post was written as a part of the NaBloPoMo, a daily blogging journey I am committing to in November 2017.