5 Ways To Self-Care When You’re Angry

I used to be really angry on the inside.

I was bubbling up with anger all the time. I was angry about my life situation. I was angry about my pants not fitting. I found reasons to be angry because my anger was comforting to me.

It was a comforting and familiar feeling, but it was wrecking my life. I was pushing people away. I was ruining relationships of all kinds. It was hurting my body, as holding that anger inside is pretty destructive.

I was not taking care of myself. I took care of my kids, but not myself. And a day came where I couldn’t do it anymore.

It took a lot of therapy and my friends telling me how my anger affected them and a pretty massive illness to wake me up. I couldn’t keep all this inside anymore.

I was almost non-functional. I needed to let it go, but I didn’t really know how.

Looking back on the Facebook “On This Day” has been really cathartic; watching the evolution from giant raging ball of anger pants into someone who knows where to put all that rage and knows when the rage is appropriate and when I’m just flying off the handle because I’m not self-caring.

Over the past 4 or 5 years, I put together a list of 5 ways I can self-care that rage monster inside of me so I can thrive in my life.

If you want to be amazing and you want to reach the best you can be, you have to know how to manage your anger. You have to know how to love yourself, through the anger.

I still get mad, I just know how to cope when it gets real big. I hope my little coping list can help you too!

1. Scream it out. Find a pillow and yell all the terrible things in your head into the pillow. Or find an isolated place and yell at the top of your lungs. Or go to a really loud concert and just yell along with everyone else. Get it all out in a very literal way. (Just don’t aim the angry screaming at anyone. People tend to not like that.)
2. Work it out. Go running alone. Use the silence and the cadence of your feet to work out what’s making you so rage-y. Lift some heavy weights, if that’s your thing. Get a punching bag and kick it. Work that rage out through some movement!
3. Zen it out. I found meditation to be SO helpful when dealing with anger. Sitting in silence, or meditating on a mantra (one that is NOT “I am so angry”). I like music with meditation, because my monkey brain can focus on the music while I get my “om” on.
4. Write it out. Journaling is something I don’t do very often, but when I do, it really helps me get my feelings out. Draw pictures of what your anger looks like. Write in a freeform style without editing about how you’re feeling inside right now. Write about your day. Make a list of all the crazy things that have happened to you in the last week. I find it cathartic to then set my writing on fire, especially if it’s anger-based writing. Let those feelings go!
5. [Insert your hobby here] it out. Finding an outlet for all of your emotions is super important. Go rock climbing. Learn to knit. Take up calligraphy or shell collecting or that cool hobby where you take the faces off dolls and repaint them.

Anger does not have to be your whole life. You do not have to let it consume you, like mine did to me for so many years.

Take care of yourself <3

This post was written as a part of the NaBloPoMo, a daily blogging journey I am committing to in November 2017.